Before, now and the future
by CLAMP-yuuko
Summary: Fai reads his horoscope only to find out that his life is about to take a sharp turn. He has commit a terrible crime but is met by an unexpected obstacle and a terrible fate that could have been so much better. KuroxFai. AU.
1. Chapter 1

_Gemini_

Gemini 21.05 - 21.06

July 21

_A feeling of negativity have taken hold of your heart the last months but these destructive thoughts will come to an end today. If these unwelcome feelings will make room for sadness or for joy is up to your heart's wish. Wheter you are aware of your wish or not the stars gurantee that it will, in some way or another be fulfilled today. These events will be triggered by a person who you have possibly met before but perhaps not remember. Today will be the day that you harvest the fruit of your labour for better or for worse and the choices you have made previously in your life will heavely influence the outcome. But if you are filled with regret or anger or have come to a complete self-awareness that aspire for change do not be afraid, you will be given a new chance to correct it. It is advisable to follow your gut feeling today as they will lead you to answers and fullfill that wish you have been holding on for so long. Take a deep breath and not make haste - there is nothing to fear if you don't stumble too fast over the edge._


	2. Chapter 2

_Confrontation_

"I see you," his voice is dark; tainted with hopelessness.

"I know," the other answer halting to a stop before rounding the corner. He rests his blond head on the concrete wall not turning around to face his predator, he merely sighs; his thoughts busy with accknowledgning his, perhaps, mistake.

"Hands in the air," the dark voice of autority says lifting the black metal to point at the blond's head. "Turn around."

The blond does _not_ turn around. He does _not_ lift his hands in surrender. Instead he talks. His voice is a mess but it's not because he is nervous or afraid. It's ackward in the sense that he seems alien to his own language. It appears he doesn't know the words or that his mouth have never uttered them before. Or, perhaps, it is not the words themselves that are alien, perhaps, it is the manner of speaking. He says in the unsteady voice of his:

"You've chased me for weeks. I can't believe it is over..." if he had focused on the situasion as he normally would do he would have put a bullet in him a long time ago but this time he could not. The man leaning his head against the wall was making him hold back.

"I told you to raise your hands and turn around!" this time he says it with definitive anger. Why couldn't that bastard do as he said?

I'm going to walk," the other man says taking away the support of the wall from his head, carrying the pain on his own skinny shoulders. "I'm going to walk... and I wish you would shoot me. But if you don't... If you come after me and try to hold me back... I will kill you. The man who a gun is pointed at has changed over the last minutes. His way of speaking is not alien anymore. It's firm and strong. It's fake and cold but he is unmasked by the other. Because the obviosuly fake and cold could only hide truth and warmth and he could not pull the trigger - his finger would not move even an inch.


	3. Chapter 3

_3 hours previously_

Tossing the newspaper on the table he frowns over his morning coffee. Today's horoscope was worrying. Such ill news on such an important day was not very welcome. He takes a sip from his coffee and checks his list. Everything seemed to be in order: Gun (aldready loaded), suitcase and cellphone. He raises from his chair and takes a look in the mirror. His tall frame is intensifyed by the long mirror that reaches all the way up to the ceiling, small scattered rays of sun reflected in the surface. He adjusts the eyepatch covering his left eye, or more correctly, where his left eye should have been, the sight brings back bad memories. He opens his cellphone and watches the screen flicker to life a small drawing of a letter covering the main display.

_Where were you last night? I waited for you all evening... Call me._

He has no remorse. He feels sad but not guilty, he is doing him a favor after all. When the electric clock on the wall shows 10.00 he walks over to the refrigiator and catches a glimpse of a note stained with coffee on the door before he opens it. He remembers the text, no need to read it, it has three words on it. Three words written a long time ago. He shuts the thoughts about the note away and tries to forget it but he never will. He gets a carton of milk out from the refrigiator and empties it in two-three gulps. He wipes his mouth before getting his suitcase containing his nececceties, takes on his versity jacket, ties his shoes and walks outside, the sun is shining and the clock shows 10.10 a Friday in 2008.

_Yuui - So you don't forget._


	4. Chapter 4

_Same time, diffrent place_

The man who in 3 hours is going to point a gun at another man at the corner between the grossery shop that sell apples for half price and the bakery that prints people faces on their cakes is currently busy doing squats on the floor. He has no idea he is going to do all those things in just some hours although if he probably knew he would not care. This man is a policeman. He finished policeschool in half the normal time and rose in rangs like a kamikaze out of this world. His name is Kurogane, his police badge says so. He flexes his muscles a couple of times in front of a dusty mirror while he wipes away the sweat drops forming at his temple wondering if he should sit this one out. He hated stupid people and he could not reject the fact that his partner was just that. On top of the turn-down by knowing that the two of them would be working together the next months was only amplifyed by the fact that they were going to patroll an area only known for it's safety. Nothing happened there nothing was going to either, what was the point of protecting such a place? He wanted action, danger and to be of real use, not prancing around in his uniform making sure the neighboor boy didn't steel another adult movie from the shop on the backside of the apotecary. He sighed. In this situasion it is fair to conclude that in stead of dreading such a day he was going to experience, he would rather be excited about it's dangers.

The doorbell rings and he walks over to the door - finally. The man ringing the door is a man in his forties. He wears a worn suit with a red out-of-fashion tie. He smiles a forced grin as he enters dragging the new gass container inside the apartment.

"Sorry for the delay," the man in the red tie says stopping by the stove. "I hope it hasn't given you a lot of trouble."

The man clearly doesn't mean what he is saying. He takes out the old container from inside the stove and puts the new one inside. Meanwhile Kurogane watches him with prying eyes obvously mad by the man's unproffesionalism.

"There, all set," he says and slams the door in front of the container shut, puts the old container on his trolley and is getting ready to go.

"Thank you," Kurogane answers polite, he was not going to be petty.

"No problem," the man says and walks towards the door.

"Be careful with that," Kurogane adds as the man leaves. "I think it leaks."

The man does not listen and Kurogane does unfortunetly give up on trying to convey the warning again.


	5. Chapter 5

_Luck_

An old woman sits on her regular chair outside the bakery. On her table she has an assortment of sandwiches on a plate and a pitcher filled with coke. Not the usual menu for a 80 year old but one can't decide what people is going to eat but only assume she has taken this liking for such food with her from her younger days. She writes on a piece of paper with a smile behind her eyes, she is obviously enjoying herself, the bakery, the food and her work. One can tell this is a thing she has done often with the same amount of pleasure without knowing this was a habbit that would later save her life.

She writes with a steady hand:

_Gemini 21.05 - 21.06_

July 22

You have done the right decision and you acknowledge that. You enjoy life to it's fullest taking in everything about your new life like the first time a kid enters a candyshop. You know this is the right path for you and you take great care to fend for it. You are scared of losing what you have obtained but that fear is not neccesary, you deserve what you get and the stars will let you have it.

After she is finished writing and the sandwiches on her plate is turned to crumbs she looks around at the other guests inside the bakery - she is the only one outside. Everyone seems to mind their own business, busy chatting or eating. She can see the kitchen in the back of the bakery, a man in a red-tie is talking to a chef. Her eyes continues to sweep her surroundings until she sees two men standing in the shadows against the wall a few meters to her right. They talk but she can't make out the words, she blames it on her age. She leans back in her seat and closes her eyes, they still sting from all the writing. Just when she is about to gather her things and leave she hears a loud 'bang' from just around the corner and then a wave of warmth washes over her like a desert wind.


	6. Chapter 6

_Fate_

The sky is marked by the sun as seen by the color of the clouds. The white is filled with warm yellow and makes a remarkable sight. A man stands on top of a tall building those yellow clouds his background. In his hands he holds a microphone, he is facing a camera, he is a weatherman readying to make his performance. He does not smile - a watherman should smile. But he does not. He is thinking about him. Wondering what he had done wrong, why he deserved to be forgotten like that. He is a thin man, small shoulders and a much too normal face with no features to remember. His family lives in Australia, his wife left him 6 months ago and his daughter shares her mothers hate for him. He has no friends to speak of, he thought he had one but yesterday showed him how wrong he had been. It was not the first time.

The camera man gives his signal - time to start. He clears his troat watching the red light flicker to life, he still does not smile. He talks slowly, about the weather up north and works his way downwards in an orderly fashion. But his thoughts are clouded. He does not think straight. He suddenly starts to stammer, he doesn't seem to get the words right, a cold sweat breaks at his temple. He thinks of what a loser he is. Of how much his life has been one huge failure. He thought he perhaps could pull it together but after last nights downfall it seemed impossible. The camera man gives him a sharp look - he clears his troat again. He starts to speak but says everything wrong. Instead of sun he says rain, instead of wind he says hurrycane. He says 15C instead of 30C. He is done for the day.


	7. Chapter 7

_A mistake made by a man in a red tie and a chef_

The chef of the bakery on the corner is looking suspiciouly on the man installing the new gass container under the oven. He has noticed it looks used. He remarks it but the man in the red tie shrugs ut off with a laugh.

"It was you who said it was an emergency. I didn't have any other container left. This will work just fine."

"I think I smell something," the chef says swooping down for a closer inspection under the oven.

"Just a tiny leak," the man says looking away.

"A LEAK!" the chef screams mortifyed. "Are you crazy!?"

"It's not my fault so stop screaming at me," the red tie man is angry. "If you would rather sell your costumers cold food it is up to you!"

"I..." the chef goes quiet.

"That's what I thought," the man starts to gather his things in a bag, swings it up on his shoulder. "Anyway, it's going to rain today according to the weather report, it's going to be freezing cold, no chance in hell the gass will ignite," and with that he leaves.


	8. Chapter 8

_Confrontation part two_

The scene resembles one from an old western movie where the hero stands tall with his two guns ready at his sides. The villain looks back at him with squinted eyes a sigarette dangling from his mouth. This scene is diffrent in the sense that the villain does not look like a villain. He looks calm, quiet, content, the hero is the one who is troubled. Fai does as he was told minutes ago - he turns, he smiles, he makes sure he will remember.

"If you don't surrender I will shoot you," Kurogane repeats and noticed how the sun burns on his skin. "The hospital is miles away, you will bleed to death."

Silence. Fai thinks it over. He wonders if perhaps Kurogane says it more to himself - if you shoot you will kill this man. He does not understand why that should be a dilemma - not in this case anyway.

"It's ok. I already have blood on my hands," Fai answers, he has already done his crime. He knows just what to do. He needs to jumpstart fate a bit, help the wheels turn. He moves his right hand slowly, he knows he is watching. His fingers thouches the hem of his pocket. He hears Kurogane scream something but he can't make out the words, he has escaped from this world. A bullet is released from inside the gun but Kurogane's hand shakes - he doubts, regrets, is confused. The muzzle of the gun follows his undecisive thoughts and when the bullet leaves it does not hit it's target. It rips some flesh on Fai's left arm but other than that he is left unharmed, the bullet however does not stop, it continues. Glass breaks, a puncture hole is left in the window's surface with spider-web like cracks spreading from it. The bullet continues it's journey. Between the legs of a wooden chair it flies, it goes by the feet of a waitor and finally - it hits. The curcuit is blown to pieces, electric sparks spreads across the room. The gass has leaked from the newly installed container and it is more than enough - too much to spare anyone's life.


	9. Chapter 9

_Alternative ending one_

"Kuro-chan is mad at me," Fai pouts lying his head on the other man's chest. He can, if he listens closely, hear is heart. It beats just as steady as he would expect from him.

"I'm not mad at you," Kurogane answers letting his right hand slip through Fai's hair. "It's just that you are such a dumbass sometimes."

"I guess it can't be helped," Fai grins enjoying Kurogane's thouch.

"I guess..."

"You know," Fai says in a mere whisper. "If you had shot me back then, if you had killed me, I think I would still be happy." Kurogane frowns issuing for him to explain. And so he does:

"If you had killed me I think I would be happy because I would not know how I feel right now. Right now everything is as great as it can be - I am truly happy. But back then I didn't know what that feeling was. I didn't know how good it felt. So now, now that I know, it is important, more than ever for me to keep that feeling," Fai pauses and expects a puzzled look on the other man but he doesn't show it. He understands.

"I guess it is the same with me. I didn't know back then that this could happen. I had no idea," Kurogane lies while tracing his finger down Fai's back, he can feel the other man shiver. "But," he says with a clear voice and Fai clutches the hem of the silk blanket tight. "I am sure that if everything went wrong that day I would surely be unhappy. It's like two oposites - the very good and the very bad. I can't imagine that a thing that could end so good could just as easily turn to something so terrible."

"What if it wasn't so easy," Fai moves upwards looking straight in the other man's eyes. "What if it was very hard, extremly difficult, everything needed to happen at just the right time, would it happen then? Sometimes one-in-a-million chance things happen."

"But it didn't." Fai smiles.

"No," Fai leanes in for a kiss. "I can't imagine anything other than this."

They make passionate love in bed. They both lay in bed to noon the next day. Kurogane makes breakfast - Fai sleeps. And when the sun conquers the horizon and Kurogane has gotten back to bed with his newly made breakfast-tray it is hard to imagine this as a simple dream and although it might appear to good to be true it is not. It is completly true or perhaps more correctly - possible, it just didn't happen, not in this world, not this time.


	10. Chapter 10

_As it all is_

The air smells burnt skin and hair, the ground is covered in crimson red. It is a grotesque scene amplifyed by the many mouns and small wimpers of a scream. But the man in front of him does not scream, he does not make a sound. He lies utterly still, his face bent downwards. Kurogane runs towards him his face covered in his blood. He kneels down, lifts his head, he too is quiet.

Fai's eye is half open, the other eye empty the eyepatch gone. Blood clings to his hands as he tries to find the wound between the mess of hair but he can't find it - and Fai keeps bleeding, dying. Kurogane screams for him to stay awake but he knows it's too late, the life behind his beautiful blue eye flicker. He lies his head close to his, tries to listen. He can hear something from inside his troath. "Come on!" he screams and he can see Fai's lips shake. "Talk!" he commands again and again. He wishes for the impossible but does get something - Fai's last words:

"I'm happy," he says in the weak voice of a dying man. Fai closes his eye but Kurogane knows he still can listen, that he still have words left to say. He leans in closer, with his mouth thouching his ear he whispers:

"What if..."

Fai's lips smiles. "It is best not to know." And then he dies. He leaves this world in the dark of everthing that Kurogane already know. He leaves Kurogane with a wounded heart that would never really mend and if Fai was to know this, he too, would not be as happy as he thought himself to be in the last seconds life had given him in the very end.


End file.
